Selfie – Was actually taking picture of the phone.
It would appear that I dropped off the Blog map in April 2019. What the hell?
I can’t even explain it. Believe me, the shenanigans around here haven’t died down that much. I am still doing stupid things on a daily basis, but at least I still have all of my limbs.
I wouldn’t call what’s going on a Writer’s Block so much as a Writer’s I Don’t Want To. It is a phase, I hope. I have been distracted by other stuff on the Internet and I have always been one to indulge myself at all cost. All cost.
So let’s recap for anyone who actually remembers anything about anyone on my Blog.
Bru – bossy husband. Still alive. Still in a wheelchair – we haven’t made any trips to Lourdes or anything like that. He’s doing well. Still thinks he’s in charge. Tragically, he can still reach the thermostat and does so on a regular basis. He keeps the house very warm at all times while I am running around in a tank top gasping for air. I seem to recall early in our marriage HE was the one who was always hot and he kept the thermostat turned down all the time and kept telling ME to put on a sweater. I demand to see a lawyer.
Bella – THE HEIFER – the black cat – rotund as ever – sleeps on my pillow after I get up and then leaves her fur and fleas behind so when I sleep there again, I get stuffed up and itchy. Always up for treats and canned food. Her legendary litterbox ‘leavings’ have not changed and there are days when I still bolt from the litterbox area into the sunshine in defense of my life. Bru is on his own.
Abby – Village Idiot – long hair calico – still prowling around looking for something. We don’t know what it is. She meows when she is looking so I try to keep her high on catnip because she doesn’t like treats. What kind of an evil cat doesn’t like treats? She is best pals with Reggie, the parrot and will sit by him on the counter for hours. Or, she is planning to pull a Sylvester/Tweety thing and is biding her time?
Reggie – African Grey parrot – still plucking his front feathers so he always looks like he’s ready to go into the oven. He’s pretty happy most of the time. He still swears a good deal of the time. If he seems lethargic I will put on a reality crime show with gunfire and screaming. That seems to cheer him up.
Clara – biological mother to Judy – grape thief – still thriving at 94 – sharp as a used tack. Lives in Assisted Living 5 minutes away from our house. Gets her hair done every Thursday at 2:00 PM sharp at the salon in her facility. Sometimes I call and try to book a visit for a Thursday afternoon with her just to hear her shut me down – THURSDAY IS NO GOOD FOR ME – I’M GETTING MY HAIR DONE. Keeps me humble to know that flesh and blood falls one level under a shampoo and set.
Me – Judy – the one who is really in charge around here and would be willing to hand off the Crown and Sceptre anytime. I still work full time / shift work. I love it and especially love working nights. I have mastered the Selfie, finally, so there will be tons of pictures of me from now on. Right.
So on the most part we are all in our places, doing what we are supposed to do, and every now and again one of us goes Rogue. I accept that because it’s mostly me that goes Rogue first.
Bru just got out of the hospital after a month. He’s fine but while he was away I ate all his candy, put a bunch of his stuff away, moved the garbage can back to where I like it, played music on the TV for the whole time, and kept the house cool in temperature. I also told the animals that ‘there are no rules’. Which is fine, because we all embraced that but we kind of forgot the fallout of when Daddy came home.
It was paradise for me for a while because I got to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Dessert a 10 PM, Supper at midnight. There were no rules. What is bedtime, really? It is just a time of day or night that a person crawls into bed. So I did whatever I wanted there too. Stay up all night. Huzzah!
Another fun fact about when Bru is gone – there is little to no laundry. I generate a small percentage of the laundry around here. And even better, there is hardly any garbage. I live a quiet life and it would appear I don’t throw much away, because I even missed a couple of Garbage Days altogether from lack of a decent contribution.
So I think we’ve established that he’s a big contributor in the house.
Now he’s back and settling in after his month away and he’s asking the hard questions. Where is my candy? Where is my other candy? Where is my secret candy? That kind of thing.
He appears to want his meals around mealtime, and he has a set bedtime that he wants to observe. I had forgotten all about those. Going to bed at the same time every night. I vaguely recall… So he wants that too.
He has also mentioned something called vegetables since he was eating healthy in the hospital. I Googled it and it’s those fresh colorful things you see when you walk into one end of the grocery store. He wants those. Then he mentioned that they could be canned. Oh, I know where the canned stuff is, so I went there, and got some canned versions of the colorful stuff. We were on our way.
So that is the Recap of our lives since the Spring, give or take. The rest will be represented in dramatic stories in the Blog.