Photo – Greek Food – Ta Mystika on Stock Snap
Our driveway is quite long and the garbage truck refuses to veer off of the main road, drive up to the house, take the bags and then rejoin the route. I find that annoying and somewhat rude.
With that in mind I often drive our garbage out to the end in our vehicle because it can be icy and I don’t want to fall. I could break a hip.
Sometimes I go in my pyjamas because my standards are quite a bit lower than everyone else’s and it’s fun. I wear a coat and boots, so I don’t think anyone can tell but that’s what everyone on the front page of the National Enquirer said too. OH, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD TELL.
A couple of winters ago the driveway was snowy and icy so I drove the bags down, unloaded them and as I was getting back into the Ford I slipped on said ice and fell flat on my back. I couldn’t believe it. After I had taken so many precautions, what with the vehicle, the boots, walking like a penguin as ‘they’ suggest, I still managed to fall. I was mildly outraged, laying there kind of half under a running vehicle.
I didn’t move right away because I realized I was actually kind of comfy and I knew it was going to hurt when I started to get up, plus it was going to be a lot of work. So I just stayed there for a second or two really thinking about – nothing.
Then, for some reason I began to slide. Ever so slightly my body began quietly sliding on the ice; not much, but just enough to snap me back to reality that I was underneath a running vehicle and I was sliding.
With my luck, the Ford would inexplicably snap into gear and the headlines would scream Woman Gets Taken Out With Trash or something equally witty.
Either way, I wanted to die with a bit more dignity than that, so I grabbed onto something by the door and managed to hoist myself up enough to get back into the vehicle.
As I looked around from the front seat, it appeared that the neighborhood had not suffered from my experience. The birds were still singing, the sun was still out, all was status-quo.
I put the vehicle in reverse and backed up the evil driveway, stumbled in the front door in my pyjamas, back home where someone with my propensity for disaster and choice of nightwear should be; behind closed doors.