Photo by Ak-n Cakiner on Unsplash
Some time ago we ran out of kibble for our cats, Bella (THE HEIFER) and Abby. We actually serve 3 different varieties of dry food, and let’s not forget that putrid canned food in the morning and treats at night, so trust me, there ain’t nobody starvin’ here. However, on this occasion we ran out of THE HEIFER’s favorite kibble. Nightshifts and other things got in the way and I wasn’t able to get to the store.
On my last nightshift, I got up in the late afternoon and came out into the livingroom. THE HEIFER was laying in the armchair and she was staring, no, she was glaring, right at me as I walked across the floor. I noticed that her normally round eyes were flat across the top and round on the bottom. I felt fear.
I made an attempt to greet her in my sweetest voice filled with compliments, “Hello Bella, what a beautiful girl.” Glare. Dear God, what had I done, what didn’t I do, what did I forget, is it THE HEIFER’s birthday, WHAT??
As I rounded the corner to the kitchen, I noticed that her empty kibble dish had been pushed into the middle of the floor. She has always done this with her various dishes and we’ve found it quite amusing but this time, I felt a mild threat to the gesture. Somewhere in the back of my mind I made a mental note to check under the flap of the bed later (see Bella Welcomes Abby).
I went back into the livingroom to reassure my little ballerina that all was under control. My hands were sweating and my voice was unusually high. I told her I would get her the kibble first thing in the morning. Glare.
I continued to babble. I JUST HAVE TO WORK ONE MORE NIGHT SHIFT AND WHEN I GET HOME I’LL STAY UP AND GO TO THE STORE AND GET YOUR KIBBLE. But even I knew I had gone too far this time. Not only had we run out of kibble, but I wasn’t rushing out of house right this minute to re-stock. Glare. Glare. Glare.
Work was vaguely off for me that night. We were busy as usual but there was a little cloud over my head. Every now and again I would surface from the arrests and the paperwork and remember that THE HEIFER was at home, free to do whatever she wanted to the place while I was away for 14 hours. Since this had never happened before I really didn’t know what she was capable of. In the past, she had opened the freezer, left two moist turds in the bed, and she is suspected of at least one 911 hang-up call. Unease was putting it lightly.
After shift I barreled home and waited for the store to open. I went in and, Praise the Lord Himself, they had what I needed. I bought the biggest bag of ‘tasty morsels’ they had and humped it home. I hurt my back a bit getting it out of the car but I’ve learned that fear makes you forget some types of pain.
As I stumbled up to our screen door, I stopped when I saw two green orbs through the mesh. I couldn’t make sense of it. What was that?
I had never seen this before and yet, it was familiar. Flat across the top, round on the bottom. OMG, IT WAS THE HEIFER! She’s a black cat and now it made sense that all I could see through the screen was her green eyes. She was waiting for me!
I opened the door, averted my eyes and kept moving, getting the kibble into the house. More ‘beautiful girl’ stuff, high voice, apologies, you name it coming out of my mouth as I cut open the bag. I filled the bowl and she hunkered down to eat.
In my defense, there were still other bowls of kibble and an empty bowl that had held a delightful salmon pate that she had consumed earlier.
As I was putting the kibble bag aside I happened to look over and THE HEIFER was finished, licking her paws. She barely glanced at me. I noticed two round green eyes this time and I knew that I would be okay, for now…